The Fool

Today was April Fool's Day.

This thought never crossed my mind as I went into work. Soul was there, off work and waiting around talking to people, while Queen worked the store next door.

I set my jacket down and Soul pointed out a memo left on the counter for me to read. Said it was important. Of course. That's fine. We get a lot of memos in.

Before I post the memo, I should explain that we have a card system. Owners of this card obviously get discounts on our used games. I'm sure you're aware of this sort of thing. No, you don't know us.

Here is what the memo said:


"[Queen],

As you know we have recently sent out several secret shoppers to make sure [our store]'s employees are doing what is asked of them. This includes selling [cards], being out on the sales floor as much as possible, and various other duties. On a recent visit to your store, your employee [MY NAME] was seen on his cell phone, using the computers for personal use, and when ringing up the secret shopper he did not mention anything about the [card]. I checked and he did sign the memo that specifically talked about much of this. Please tell this employee that he is to be written up and is currently on a 60 day probation period. If he continues to deliberately disregard company policy, he is to be terminated immediately.

[NAME]
[Our Store] Corporate"


(The reasons listed were perfectly legitimate reasons: The cellphone was out because I was getting my fellow employee's number. The computer was under personal use because we didn't have a thing to do and there were no customers. And the card could have been an honest mistake.)

I sat and stared at it for a good half-minute as Soul watched me. "Read it?" he asked. I nodded, unable to think of what to say. "Yeah... It's a bummer, really," he says in his perfectly normal tone of voice.

"Yeah."

"Man, don't sweat it, everything's gonna be fine."

I can feel a sweat breaking out over me. I don't want to lose this job! Not now! "Mm," I mutter.

"Don't worry about it, it's not a big deal, you know?" Pause.

He edges closer.

"Because it's AAAAAPRIL FOOL'S!"

A white-hot flash passes through me. Queen uproars with laughter; she was in on it too, I see. As the realization sets in, coupled with more of that all-too-familiar disbelief, realizing I had been tricked, a bullet of a thought shoots through my mind.

'They must really like me to want to prank me so elaborately.'